The Awesome Magic Begins At 60
I turned 60 on 15th January 2019.
And on 31st of the same month I superannuated . This typically landed me in distinctly unremarkable‘ end of things’; whatever that be, childhood ,school, career, parenthood, travel, business, relationships.
That night I slept fitfully and I dreamed. I saw myself standing alone in the courtyard of a sprawling shopping Mall , bewildered and distraught at being at an annoying distance from scores of spirited gathering of people thronging to and fro. Strangely, suddenly I felt the need to pee but the washrooms appeared to have drifted way too far from me. I kind of felt the urge to go,mingle in the crowd and have fun with the people but then I also wanted to have a leak.
Which way should I go? I ask myself.
I don’t know, a voice whispered in my ear.
As I fretted, and fumed weighing the options, I looked around furtively . Glancing over my shoulder, I saw a river meandering out in the distance just beyond the bathrooms .
After peeing, a signs direct you toward it. “Soon, you’ll be crossing that thing,” I reminded myself as I rushed out of the revolving doors. ‘Don’t play games with me’,the next moment I tersely reprimanded myself.
The noise of traffic on the highway woke me up from a restless slumber. The warmth of an early winter morning sun had already crept into my balcony. Time to tether a new life.
I think may be this is how 60s work.
In all fairness, I didn’t like my 60th birthday. These are not joyful…usually.
👍My pursuit of happiness begun at 60.
It was only after a week that I could even begin to think about the way I should live the un-lived part of my life . Being shepherded for too long in servitude had left me a bedraggled moron . Long lazy wake hours were now beginning to herd in a new life changing experience. Life as I had lived so far was now morphing into new perspective.But something was amiss !! There was something I was still unsure about . It felt as if I had hit a dead end and have stumbled in a pit of uncertainty. It just didn’t make any sense. I sensed that I may have traversed hundreds of journeys in my life so far,but it felt as if I had not begun the journey after all.
I figured out that I had waded through an endless sea of happenings, events, decisions while only a few that really mattered had actually happened. Rest just frittered away. I didn’t know what I ever wanted and if I did get it. Not very many of us do, I am sure. Reluctance often gets better of us to admit the truth.
An overwhelming sense of agitation and restlessness had gripped me . I felt anxious and directionless because I realized that there was so much to do and so many possibilities, yet I felt helpless to do anything about it as I was not doing anything or perhaps very little and was not sure what to do about it.
Be wiser,we all feel the same once we cross the enchanting 60 yet very few of us have the temerity to admit it.Believe me Life becomes most interesting in the pauses before and after the scenes we all are destined to play and endure.
It was while on one of my long leisurely morning walks as a free flipped out bird , I realized that a strange calmness had slowly but imperceptibly descended in my search for significance and resolve. Probably , I was becoming more rational and less experimenting in my pursuit for happiness.
Down the line I may have walked thousands of times over the years,but it was not until now that I realized that a every walk is an opportunity to see new insights and hear new sounds. In nature you just leave yourself behind. For in the mere act of walking you free yourself out, free yourself of opinion and expectation. A free body rejuvenates a free mind, your mind gets clear and logic starts to fill the void.
I realized that as you grow old, you turn out to be no more than a pointless collection of habits,salvaged elitism and at times hopelessness. Contrary to popular belief very little ‘productive’ of us is left by now. So overpowering is the notion that it leaves little or no room to create a new narrative for the rest of your life.
I shrugged off this disheartening thought once I realized that the ‘life is all about perspectives’ only, a string of experiments where results speak loudly of beliefs and you live a life not too many times. I charted a new course for myself and dear me today I have come to experience and revel my day following the two valuable metrics ,one ;did I learn / create/ invent anything new and two; did I help or inspire somebody.’ My approach to life has ever since taken a turn for good as I watch and experience newer possibilities unfold.
Remember you can just be anything or anybody you want to when you figure out your life as an experiment . Its only then you decide what works for you and what doesn’t;what brings happiness to you and what fails you.
You need to be needed by others . I believe that life is more enduring and purposeful if it is useful, but escapes you unless you choose to be compassionate to others. Bury the hatchet of ‘not needing other people’ and you will see that you have lived and lived well. Remember you cannot change the world. Just try to make it a little better than you left it yesterday.
I reinvented myself .Sixties is the time when you are left with the luxury to rewire your mindset and how your brain perceives it. Being ‘always useful ’ is a mindset and like any thought it instinctively starts with a decision. Wisely said,all it takes is one simple idea to interrupt the unending string of thoughts, pick the right one and respond.
I for one,over the time have also learned which mindset to respond and which to dump; which one to experience and which to discard.This has mended the way I see things happening around me .
I stopped being Idle and self indulgent.Believe me comfort and indulgence are your worst enemies . These could turn out to be your silent killers. Stop being luxurious. Be indulgent and reach out to people you think need you most. Its not a cardinal sin to need to be needed. So be compassionate and caring and reach out to others .Life turns out to be more happy and purposeful when you become useful to others. And what is there to stop you from changing the world, only you cannot do it in one lifetime. Just try to make it a better one than you left it yesterday.
Don’t let Others despair you.Negativity among all other things ,is mapped first by our mind among other things . Remember our brain is designed to react impulsively to these vibes in the first instance. Hundreds of things could go wrong in a day and despair may creep in without you even noticing it.Try labeling your experience differently and sure as hell, sweeter chimes will ring.Live life on your own terms.
F ollow Yourself. Lack of passion makes you follow others. I stopped pitying myself and surprisingly I could connect to the idea that who could be more valuable to me than myself. Months later, I marvel that I could do better to myself than others. This also is the time to do what I always wanted to do; things that I have kept locked in memories for so long.
Hands down ,we keep on inventing 101 excuses why we couldn’t do things that we always ever wanted to. Believe me, the right time never exists and never will. What more better a time to chase your dreams than when you stand at crossroads of time and passion.
B e the catalyst for change. I always remember having read somewhere that it is the ordinary people who have brought the extraordinary changes. Hard to do ,but I did shun the recluse, straightened my back and looked beyond. I could see a fascinating life waiting .Happiness reigned in all by itself later.
I will not last forever. Our brain is wired in such a way that it comprehends immortality as the temporal truth. It’s time to educate our mind that change is inevitable. Nothing is guaranteed and let’s be happy with the moment we are clutching . I for one have stopped pretending that I am going to live forever….. and so should you!
At this point of life as I stand moored to a more purposeful life, I think I am beginning to like this invisible tether to mystical 60s . I am beginning to like the certainty of knowing what I like.
I also like the quiet and stillness that moves with me now, stays with me and will eventually travel with me across the river one day. The awesome magic that happened fifteen months ago does not tease or threaten today , instead it holds me aloft endearingly.
May be I am beginning to like 60s.
